On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
