Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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