Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
