nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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