did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
