Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you still have your period?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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