WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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