so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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