I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
