This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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