okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
