You're so nebulous sometimes
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize