ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
