I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
nutella sex= disaster
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
