Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize