is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
