fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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