These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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