Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
