Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
