This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
