you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize