Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
