How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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