And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
