Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
