i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
