oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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