The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
