So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
