Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
