I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
