So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize