so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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