Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
