This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
