I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
