I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Randomize
