Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Terrible idea I love it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
