She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
