i jhust puked up my retainher.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
