There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
