no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
