Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
should my penis look like a turkey
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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