**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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