you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
