And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
