I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
