I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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