Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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