Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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