She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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