Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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