I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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