happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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