Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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