He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
