i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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