Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize