she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
